Monday, 23 February 2015

Closure.

Okay so I know I've been slacking on the blogging lately but I promise there's a reason. I've been reviewing some books and products which obviously take a while. The blog posts are drafted and ready to go so they'll be with you soon.

But on to today's topic: Closure.


It's human nature to want to close things and our relationships/chapters of our lives are no different.
I personally have been left with loads of untied ends and it frustrates the hell out of me.

As humans we have a habit of inventing long complicated stories to fill the voids left by unclosed situations.
What if I'd have done this?
What if I'd have spoken up about...?
Does it help? No it does not.

So how do we go about seeking closure without causing a mess/fuss?

Relationships are difficult enough let alone dealing with the aftermath of a broken one.
I'm not just talking about romantic relationships. It can be friendships, family matter...you get the idea.
I look back at my teen years (even though I'm still in them for another 6 months or so) and find myself full of regret. I left a lot of friendships behind and they didn't end in the best way.
I just knew at that time that I had to remove myself from the situation before I broke myself so that's what I did regardless of anyone else. I had to be selfish.
Being housebound with my anxiety has left me with the what ifs and mulling over them every day is torture. Isolation seems great at the time but believe me, it isn't easy.

One way I have tried to help myself deal with the broken endings is to write it all down. Every laugh, embarrassing moment, happy time, sad moments: the lot. When re-reading it, you get a sense of your friendship and exactly how it was. Sometimes you realise things you never saw before and the happy times really do stand out. The memories fill the pages and help you to see that the relationship closed itself and left a little bundle of memories for you to enjoy.
For some, looking back on the good things is enough...Not for me.
I really felt like I needed to reach out to her personally and apologize. So I did.
Social media can be a wonderful thing. Sending a message really helped me feel like I'd closed a door on that time and tied the ends I knew were still dangling in my mind. You don't need to spill every single detail but to just explain a situation and how you felt at the time really clears things up. It may even give closure to the other person too.
Don't expect a response. The message doesn't require one. You're doing it for you.

Another thing you have to remember when looking back is that you are looking with the eyes you have now. The person you were back then couldn't be further than the person you are now. You can't live your life in what ifs. They don't ever help.
The fact is, we are where we are for a reason and I really do believe that.

Closure will always be sought by many but achieved by so few.
So we have to accept that closure isn't always going to be attainable and that's okay.

Live for now and just breathe. You're doing fine.

Thanks for reading
Loubee Lou
xxx

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