Wednesday, 25 April 2018

The Pitfalls Of Being An Anxious Blogger.

I have spoke quite openly on my blog about my ongoing battle with my mental health and of course it has a massive impact on my life but recently I've found that my mental health issues weigh heavily on me as a blogger.

There are a lot of pitfalls that anxious bloggers face (or bloggers who suffer with mental health issues in general) and I think sometimes they're glazed over and brushed under the carpet. Today I wanted to talk about some of the problems I face as a blogger with social anxiety.

Essentially this is just a post where I ramble about stuff that's playing on my mind. If these aren't your kind of posts then now's your chance to run!
So I think the biggest one has to do with events and opportunities. Every so often I'm invited to wonderful events that I'd absolutely love to go to however in my current situation they would be too intense so as much as I'd love to attend I'm just not up to it. But of course I eventually see photos, videos and blog posts about the events I should have attended and feel a pit of my stomach sadness at the fact I'm not there. Don't get me wrong I am so happy for every blogger that immerses themselves in these events and gets to seize every opportunity but it's always tinged with a bit of sadness for me.

I also worry that as I'm constantly turning down events that I start to break connections with PR agencies/brands. I am not necessarily a reliable person but I do work hard and I try to do as much as I can to promote and review the brands I love but I can't help but constantly wonder if I'm missing out on opportunities because I can't actively and physically be involved. Going to events is one box I'm not ready to tick yet.

Leading on from that blogging can sometimes feel a little pointless. Not because I don't love it but because I want my blog to go somewhere beyond being a hobby. I would love for this to become my job but as I have to turn down so many things it just wouldn't be feasible. I often look at my blog and wonder why I do it. I do love blogging but sometimes it gives me more grief than it should.
 To me, making blogging my job just isn't realistic because I'd be committing to more than I can handle. I have my good days but they're few and far between. My mood/illness is out of my control and I cannot predict what it'll do from day to day.

Comparison really is the thief of joy isn't it? One of the biggest challenges I face as a blogger/social media user is comparing myself to other and getting stuck in an "I'm not good enough" loop.
It's a tough one to get out of and in all honesty I'm not sure if I ever leave it. I bring that negativity and need to compare into my day to day life leading me to feel even more deflated.
I am forever looking at my content, photography, design and feeling like it's lacking some magic that other bloggers seem to have. Some blogs just stand out. They call out to people. They attract an audience. They have a presence.
I on the other hand have self doubt, anxiety and shitty photos. I haven't perfected the flat lay, I don't have a light box/ring light, I always forget to promote my blog posts, I don't have blogging friends...
I feel so out of my depth because there are so many bloggers on the internet now. I look around and just cannot seem to find somewhere that I fit into this blogging world. I know we're all supposed to carve out our own corners and niches but that's tricky when it feels like all the corners are taken.

Okay I'm gonna end my ramblings here.

Do you feel your anxiety holds you back?




8 comments:

  1. I don't have anxiety but certain blogging situations do make me slightly anxious and hold me back a little. Approaching brands? Nerve-wracking!! It's only an email, so not a big deal, but silly things like that definitely get in my way. Hopefully it's something we can both work on! x

    Sophie
    www.glowsteady.co.uk

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    1. I completely get that. Like in reality it's just an email but it's so nerve wracking!

      Fingers crossed for us both.

      Thanks for reading and commenting x

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  2. I too suffer from anxiety and can completely relate to this post. Having said that I’m finding over time I’m starting to push my boundaries and blogging has in fact become an aid to my anxiety.

    Melanie | www.frasersfunhouse.com

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    1. I know what you mean. I like to consider pushing myself when it comes to blogging as small victories over anxiety.

      Thank you for your comment x

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  3. I can relate to this so much! I never go to any blogging events because my anxiety just can't deal with it. I worry too that this makes me look bad to the PR or it ruins a relationship with them but I just can't force myself to go to them. I actually also really struggle with interacting with people on Twitter because of my anxiety, I find it so hard to be the one to message someone first or send a tweet. Blogging is such an amazing hobby but anxiety can be such a struggle with it sometimes. You're definitely not alone in feeling like this xx

    Tiffany x www.foodandotherloves.co.uk

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    1. There have been so many times that I've tweeted my opinion but ended up deleting it and letting it go because I overthought everything and worried too much about the reaction. Blogging is definitely much harder if you're an anxious person because there's always so much to think about!

      Thank you for speaking about it too x

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  4. This is such an honest post! I completely understand what your saying, especially about comparing yourself to others. It's definitely something that I am constantly doing. It does kind of feel a bit like a trap of being in a an environment that makes you anxious but still being passionate about blogging.Thank you so much for posting this post

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    1. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. I really appreciate it x

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