Wednesday, 13 June 2018

How Pen Pals Are Helping My Confidence*

Guys, I have something to tell you..

I am... an introvert.

I know, it's a shock so I'll give you a minute to recover.

All jokes aside I am dangerously introverted. I'd happily live on my own and never speak to or see another human again. But in reality, humans need to talk. We need to stay connected and -this is gonna hurt me to say- socialise. I question whether I'm actually human sometimes...

I've realised in the last year that I'm lonely and I decided that things needed to change.
But with my social anxiety the way it is it isn't easy. Social interaction makes me feel wildly uncomfortable so I needed to find a way of easing myself into it. I needed to find a way of making socialising fun rather than horrifying and also broaden my circle a little.

As someone who has always had a passion for writing, a logical step was pen pals.
It's a much more laid back form of communication that has absolutely no awkwardness attached and is ideal for me. So I asked on Instagram and voila, I now have pen pals. 3 in fact!

Writing to a pen pal is so much less intimidating than starting a real life conversation.
Am I cheating with the whole socialising thing?
 No. The reason being, I am completely satisfied with this level of friendship/communication.
Writing is enough for me. I don't require constant attention or meeting up regularly.
I am an easy friend, really. As long as you don't want consistency or someone to party with that is.
I love getting to know people but I also love that they aren't actively in my life. I love the distance and I need the space.
I feel like I can truly open up and reveal more about myself with confidence because I have my space. I'm not stuck in messy, complicated friendships that I struggle with.

There's also that element of surprise too. I never know when a letter will be posted through my door and they're always a great pick me up if I've had a bad day.

I can spill my guts to anyone if I'm typing or writing and having pen pals has helped me become more open to conversation and has made me want to reach out more. I love seeing the way someone writes, the paper they choose, the stories they have to tell and the best thing is getting to know a variety of people all very different but equally as wonderful.

I've found that after talking to these girls a few times I feel more confident in my ability to connect and that in turn has helped my confidence grow. Don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near as confident as I'd like to be but it's a start. And a good one too.

It also gives me a chance to get creative and buy lots more stationery and stickers... I bought my writing set from Wilkos for £2.50 and it contains the most beautiful floral paper. I also picked some beautiful 20's inspired paper from Paperchase which is stunning and a lot more expensive. 

To add to that, Stabilo kindly sent me some beautiful mini pastel highlighters to help me pep up my letters.
Who doesn't need more pastels in their life?
Not only are they adorable but they each have a sweet slogan on them.

My favourite is definitely Wish - a beautiful pastel mint green with a sweet dandelion on the front.
I just love the simplicity of the design.
They're a great size too. Easy to pack away into a pencil case.
Pastel perfection!

You can get your hands on the pastel highlighters from all good stationery shops as well as Amazon and some supermarkets such as Sainsbury's and Tesco's!

I absolutely love having pen pals. I've always wanted one ever since I was a child and now the reality is even better than I imagined. I'm finding new people who are kind, inspiring and incredibly supportive. The women I've been writing to are helping me become a better, more confident person and I'll be forever thankful to them for that.

Have you ever had a pen pal?


  1. These highlighters are the cutest!! I have some of the normal shades with funny little animal face's on them, but I love the pastel's and the quote's on them (I'm a sucker for quotes), are they pastel on paper too?
    I adore the idea of pen pals, I had a pen pal when I was much younger in primary school but as we grew up the letter's became less frequent. It's a great way to reach out and meet new people without actually meeting them in real life. Great post, I'll be looking out for the Pastel Highlighter's, you can never have enough stationary right?!

    Emma x

    1. They most certainly are. The pens all accurately represent their colours on paper.
      There is no such thing as too much stationery that's for sure.

      Thanks for reading x